Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
