Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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