I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
