You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
