What a fucking waste of an outfit
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
