Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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