i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
