I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
