Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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