I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
