I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no you cant smoke seaweed
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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