That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
