I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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