If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
