we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
