just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
