she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
