You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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