Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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