brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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