It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
