from now on my penis is your penis
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
