recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my shit smells like andre
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
and you fell through a lawn chair
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
