Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
