Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Pants are for mortals
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
