My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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