That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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