Sry I called you an 8
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
