I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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