Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
