I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
