I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
