I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do herpes really smell.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
