If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
