Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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