Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
