Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
