You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize