i will never coherently bang her
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
