I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
