woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
