And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
