i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
