If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
