Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
