If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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