Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
