He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
