Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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