OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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