i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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