he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
