I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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