I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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