we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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