I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
