i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
