He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize