i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
worst night to have a conscience
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
