You're so nebulous sometimes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
