the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
