I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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